Music

It has been my second heart. I dont know how I would have lived without it(My left brain is telling me: How would that be possible? I wouldn't have recognized the loss at all!....btw, I recently came to know that I have a dominant right hemisphere.) There is a song for every emotion, be it love, anger, joy, sorrow... that I go through...as if the singer or lyricist is empathising with me. They seem like a hell of a lot experienced, since they would identify whatever I am going through.

The song or singer would take me to an altogether different place and emotion. Isn't that something!
The poets, lyricists are really, then so great, to be able to send their thoughts and feelings across in such manner. Aren't they hynpotising then?


Few of the lines from the film Khamoshi is a classic example
( Am sorry if you don't understand hindi):

"Humne dekhi hain un aankhon ki mehekti khushboo,
haath se chooke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do,
sirf ehsaas hain yeh rooh se mehsoos karo,
pyar ko pyar hi rehne do, koi naam na do".

Whenever, for a couple of days or more, I feel something unsettling at work(I can't explain: you have to feel it to know it), suddenly it would come to my mind that I would have listened to music during that time!

Right or Wrong

It is really chaotic.

Looks like there is nothing called right and wrong...nothing called good and bad. The goodness/badness that you decide just depends on the kind of knowledge you have. Ideally, if one were to know everything, he would never be able to choose anything as the 'right' thing. The world is too complex and chaotic to be able to put simply in terms of right and wrong. And behold! we have been taught the reverse till now!

For Ex:
Everyone calls Osama a terrorist. But for him and his supporters, he is a 'leader' who teaches America a lesson for the crimes they did. Now, your answer would just depend on whether you sympathize with him or the US.

And what about the discussions we do often with friends, family? Everyone thinks he or she is right. And there is nothing like an entirely rational argument which would win everybody. BTW, even the laws of logic are also based on the level of knowledge humans attain. We are all emotional. There are beliefs which refuse to go away. So what do you do?

I came to this conclusion : Do whatever you want. Understand in your own terms and act based on proper(i.e proper to you) reasons. Whatever you do is the right thing.

(Mind you, this comes at a cost: you would not go on trying to explain to others....making you more and more silent, you start observing more...and start blogging more !)

A sinking feeling

It is a sinking feeling. I hadnt expected calls from the big Bs, A, B, C or L....but to search for your registration number and getting a negative response was difficult to digest.

So, whats the big deal? You never expected to make it, nor did you want it. So why feel bad. But somewhere in the corner of my heart, it is itching.

Basically, this has been a big fact of my life....I am a mix of contradictions...but still I am trying hopelessly to define myself.

CAT tests teased me everytime challenging me to be smarter and smarter... so you want to be short-listed even if you dont want to study. Its like someone telling me that I was good-enough.
Thats some story. I will post it soon.

I want to go on writing forever like this....something stops me from doing it. Will come back soon